PRISONER'S RETURN
EPISODE 8 - IT'S YOUR FUNERAL (AGAIN)
Number 6 still has one name left on the list of ex-number 2s he obtained in an earlier episode. This particular one lives in London in the suburbs. Number 6 checks the ex-number 2's address and location of the road on a London A-Z, travels to London on the train, and makes his way to the ex-number 2's house by tube. In a quiet street, he examines the various houses, coming finally to the ex-number 2's. He walks up to the house, and knocks on the door. It is answered by an elderly lady, who doesn't know the ex-number 2 and is unable to help number 6, other than to suggest that he tries other houses in the street. Number 6 believes her, and works his way along the street asking for information about the ex-number 2, but nobody is able to help him. He is disappointed at the lack of progress, but sees no point in continuing with the search that day.
He returns to the tube station and travels back to the mainline station, where he gets a train home. Number 6 settles down in a window seat as the train, which is a stopping one, works its way gradually towards his station. As the train coasts slowly along through the countryside after leaving a station, number 6 gazes out of the window and sees that an accident has happened at a junction on the road running alongside the railway line. Two cars have smashed into each other and the police, fire and ambulance services are all in attendance. One of the cars is on fire and firemen are spraying it with foam. Number 6 stares at the scene intently, becomes lost in thought for the rest of the journey home, and nearly misses his own stop.
Number 6 returns home, and checks carefully through his local paper for details of road accidents in the immediate area. He analyses where they have occurred, what has happened and what injuries were suffered. He also notes down the names and addresses of recently killed motorists. Number 6 narrows down the locations of the accidents to three, and visits each one by car to check them out. One particular place interests him, as there is a bend in the road, and a high brick wall opposite.
Number 6 then visits some of the neighbours of the deceased motorists posing as a local reporter. He manages to get a physical description of each of them and details of the injuries they sustained. Number 6 chooses one man, who appears to be physically similar to himself, finds out where he is buried and visits the church to find the man's freshly dug grave.
Number 6 returns home and waits for a very dark, moonless inclement night. He leaves home, drives to the graveyard and digs up the coffin of the dead man. He removes the body and places it in his car on the passenger seat. He closes the coffin lid, re-buries the empty coffin and makes good the soil and grass around the grave, so that the disturbance will be unnoticed. Then he drives off to the accident spot he has previously chosen and puts the dead man's body into the driver's seat of his car. He places a number of his personal effects on the body, credit cards, driving licence etc., and leaves a can of petrol on the side of the road near the wall. He then gets into the passenger side of the car, opens the throttle and drives the car around the bend and straight towards the wall. Number 6 jumps out and rolls clear just prior to the impact. Quickly, he grabs the can of petrol and pours it over the body and car generally, and sets it ablaze. The car quickly catches fire and the body is consumed. Number 6 then leaves the immediate scene with the empty can and watches from a safe hiding place as the police, fire and ambulance services appear. The fire service soon put the fire out, but the fire has virtually gutted the car and the body is unrecognisable.
Number 6 leaves the scene and makes his way towards a hideout he has specially and secretly constructed in a wooded area just outside his village. He sleeps there for the night. The next day, he stays in his shelter until evening, all the time keeping a lookout for intruders. As darkness falls, he puts on a disguise and ventures out to the village shop to buy a local paper. Inside, he finds details of his accident with him identified as the victim.
In the new 'Village', the newspaper giving details of number 6's accident and death is shown to the leader. He is sorry to learn of number 6's accident, but is relieved that number 6 will no longer be a threat to them. The leader's advisors are suspicious, and counsel caution in assuming that number 6 really has been killed. The new 'Village' leader agrees, and orders thorough checks to be made to establish the facts about number 6's death. Two agents are despatched to investigate.
Meanwhile number 6 has found out when the inquest into his death is to be held. He approaches the coroner's court on foot, and watches the people entering and leaving the building. He particularly notices two men who are taking a keen interest in anybody going into the building. Just as the inquest is about to begin, the two men enter the building and sit in the courtroom. A few moments later, number 6 slips unnoticed into the room and sits at the back well out of site and half-hidden by a pillar. The inquest goes through its formalities. The car is confirmed as belonging to number 6, and although the body is not positively identifiable, it is confidently concluded that number 6 was assumed to be in the car from the effects found there. Also, his neighbours and the newsagent confirm that he has disappeared. The cause of the accident is not established as there were found to be no mechanical faults with the vehicle, and it is concluded that he lost control of the car on the bend. His neighbours report that he was a secretive type of person, who clearly had something on his mind, but that he did not appear to be the suicidal type. Based on all the evidence, the coroner brings in a verdict of accidental death. At this point number 6 slips quietly out of the court and takes up a position in a car across the road from the entrance so that he can observe the people leaving. He watches his newsagent and neighbours leaving the court and a short while later observes the two new 'Village' agents leaving. Number 6 trails them to their own car in nearby car park, and discreetly follows them to a hotel. He finds out that the two men are staying in the hotel until after the funeral.
On the day of the funeral, only a few mourners turn up, including his neighbours, the newsagent and the two policemen who investigated the accident. The two new 'Village' agents are also there at the graveside, observing the mourners and scanning around the churchyard for any signs of anything unusual. Number 6 watches the scene from afar with binoculars. After the service, the mourners turn to leave, and the new 'Village' agents overhear the two policemen talking about the accident. One of them tells the other that there was something odd about the case, but he couldn't be sure that it wasn't just a co-incidence. The other policeman comments that it seemed a clear-cut case. The two agents casually quiz the two policemen, and find out about their reservations. Slightly concerned, they make their way back to their hotel in order to pack and check out. Number 6 follows.
Whilst they are inside, inside, number 6 unscrews a wheel nut on their car, and substitutes one of his own, which contains a homing device. In his own car, number 6 watches the agents leave, and follows at a leisurely pace listening to the beep of the homing device. Number 6 follows them at a safe distance as they make their way steadily towards London, but unknown to him, they develop a puncture in the wheel with the odd wheel nut. When the car stops, number 6 also stops, but assumes they are stopping for a break, and number 6 does the same. Whilst repairing the puncture and changing over to the spare wheel, one of the new 'Village' agents casually looks at the wheel nuts and sees that there is something odd about one of them. It appears to have a split around it. He compares it with the others on the wheel and on the car and is puzzled. He gets a small electronic gadget from his pocket and passes it over the wheel nut: this gives a reading on the device. The agent looks around the countryside where the car has stopped but can't see anybody. Once the puncture is repaired, the wheel nut is replaced on the car, and the agents make their way northwards along the M1 and M6. As they do so, they keep looking behind them to see if they can see who is following them, and keep in touch with new 'Village' by phone. Late in the evening, they arrive in a remote part of the Lake District.
The agents park their car and make their way to a large imposing mansion in its own grounds. Number 6 parks his own car close by and follows the agents to the mansion. Snooping around, number 6 finds a way into the mansion, but as he creeps into a room in the dark, he is attacked and captured. Number 6 is bound to a chair. Still in the dark, the new 'Village' leader appears behind him and tells him that they know about his scheme to follow the agents back to the new 'Village'.
Number 6 tells the new 'Village' leader that he intends to find them and destroy them, but he gets no response. Number 6 struggles to overturn the chair and finds that the room is deserted. In the distance he hears the sound of a car engine and then silence. After struggling for a while, he manages to free himself, and walks back to his car. He gets in and drives slowly homewards deep in thought.
Suddenly, he hears the sound of the homing device bleeping in his car. He looks at it for a minute and then starts to accelerate the car, following the sound, which is getting louder and louder. He sees a road sign for his own village and slows down to see where the homing device appears to be located. As he drives through his village he realises that it is coming from his own cottage. He stops outside, and looks all round, but there is no sign of anybody, nor of the agent's car. Number 6 gets out of his car and walks round to the back of his property along a footpath beside the house. Again, he finds no sign of anybody. Number 6 walks stealthily up to the front door and using his key lets himself in. He quietly and quickly checks each of the rooms in his cottage, but there is nobody there. Finally, he enters the deserted kitchen. On the table he sees a note, which reads 'Welcome Home'. Beside it is the wheel nut.
END
Copyright: D.J.Groom 1987